


Without Music*

by orphan_account



Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: He deserves so much love, M/M, basically my rage that Akihiko is unforgivable, get your shit together akihiko, my poor Haruki he derserves so much love, ugetsu deserves happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 12:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21054725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: *Music: As in feelings/emotionsHaruki wakes up to the absence of pain, or joy, or any feeling at all.**Cringe Warning**





	Without Music*

Something was off, he knew it. He wakes up with his new haircut, rubbing his palm against his nape, he felt the strands of hair that used to be longer. He knew his heart would be aching by now. He looked around him, he knew this was Yatake’s place, and he somehow is sleeping in his bed.

He recalls yesterday. The fear that overwhelmed him when Akihiko was pressuring him, the pain he felt when he forcefully restrained his body. Yesterday, he felt so much, too much. Fear. That he wished that he didn’t have to feel any of this at all. How his tears were falling uncontrollably, he wondered in the streets, ending up at his senpai's place.

“Take-chan?” he calls out, only silence. But frantic footsteps became more audible as it approached the door, the knob turned as Yatake poked his head into his bedroom, “Haruki, you're awake! Are you hungry?” The words quickly tumble out of his lips, Haruki knew something was wrong, he didn’t felt scared, he was supposed to be scared, but-

"It’s all gone.”

“What’s gone?” Yatake questioned, confused, “My feelings,” Haruki spoke in a neutral voice, it didn’t sound like panic, it didn’t sound like anything at all. Just a voice. “Your feelings for…?” He didn’t finish the sentence, waiting for Haruki to complete it, but instead of relief, he felt his stomach sink, “No, I can’t feel anything.”

—

“I don’t know what’s going on,” Haruki spoke, he would’ve panicked, but right now he is sitting calmly, holding a cup of tea that Take-chan made, as if nothing had happen at all. “What are you gonna do?” Yatake was worried, burying his head in his hands, his cheerful Haru is just going to turn into a heartless walking corpse? Because of Kaji Akihiko, who he hated to his bones. “I think I need to go,” Haruki said, surprising his friend that was sitting across him. “…You can’t stay on like this forever,” When he looked up at Haru’s face, he saw the same charming smile, and what Haru said in his sweet tone shattered his heart.

“It’s fine, Take-chan. Maybe this is for the best, I’m great at pretending, after all!”

He reached his home, meeting Kaji, who was sitting in the middle of the living room, looking at him with an apologetic face. “You’re still here,” he said with a bland voice. “You should leave,” he walked into his room, grabbing his stuff, Akihiko was confused, even frightened, he thought Haruki resents him now. “I’m sorry,” he shouted when Haruki walked out of his room while carrying his guitar.  
What did he expect? Forgiveness? Haruki thought.  
He stared at him for a second, but he didn't say anything, walking out of his apartment as if he didn’t hear anything. Akihiko didn’t utter another word.

He greeted Uenoyama and Mafuyu like usual, but he didn’t say much.

Passion, or even misery. It disappeared.

"Haruki-san, why are you in a bad mood?"

He wasn't, in fact, he can't even feel.

He knew that he was dragging them down.

So he said, "Sorry, I don't feel well today, I'll be leaving."

“Why are you following me?” He asked bluntly, he kept looking on the road in front of him. “I have nowhere to go,” Akihiko said, “Oh," “Haruki, are you mad?” “I guess,” That shocked him. “Haruki, you’re not yourself,” Kaji spoke, almost irritated, Haruki turned his head, “Why does it matter? I’m not necessary anyway,” it slipped out so easily, and Haru looked unfazed, as if he was possessed.

Kaji’s voice wouldn’t come out, he knew by Haruki’s voice, that he was just talking to a shell.

“I’m going somewhere, head to my place yourself.”

\---

He calls Yatake as he sits outside his front door. “Take-chan, are you free right now?”

\---

After moments of waiting, he heard the same frantic footsteps, Yatake turned around, looks like he was rushing over. “What’s wrong?" He crouched down, holding Haru’s shoulders. “Nothing, I just…” He looked down, “I wanted to see you," Yatake’s palms were warm, and comforting.

“You wanna talk about it?” Yatake was preparing drinks for them, Haruki stayed quiet, he sat down next to him, handing him a cup of tea. “I want to know,” Haruki looked up at his determined eyes, before parting his lips.

—

He laid in his embrace, somehow, he felt like his heart was filled with warmth.

“Haruki, you don’t deserve all this pain,” he listened to Yatake’s voice, “I can’t believe that Kaji is so ungrateful. You’re the best person I’ve ever known, you deserve someone better, Haru. You are beautiful, you are kind and,-" there was hesitation in his voice, "-I love you, I needed you in my life,” but he knew this was the words that Haru needed to hear, wanted to hear, deserved to hear. Warm tears fell, as a smile stretches across his face, “Thank you, Take-chan.”

And he might’ve felt that he was actually loved.

**Author's Note:**

> I almost didn't post this since I just wrote this on a wimp, but I spent like an hour on this and didn't want it to be left forgotten- Although I'm new to the fandom and not so familiar with the characters yet, I still want to write more for Given!


End file.
